READY TO DESTROY

After being home sick today, I feel revitalized. Transgressed. Obnoxious. Anxious even. Hell I don't know. I just want to do. Whatever do is. Do do? I told you I was obnoxious. I just got the latest from Oxbow (read our ridiculously long and thoroughly intriguing interview with them. The album is blowing my hair back. I have yet to watch the DVD that accompanies it but I'm sure it will be equally astounding and astonishing and vibrant and all that jazz.

But back to do. Or doing. Or done. Or something.

This weekend was busy to say the least. We went to Woodbridge and registered at Babies R Us. Then we ate at Fuddruckers (amazing veggie burgers yo!), stopped at Borders where a guy commented on my awesome Transformers shirt (fuck yes yo!), and then bought a videocamera at Best Buy. No I'm not taping any birthing activities. We went to see some friends and eat at the Melting Pot on Saturday which was tasty, exhausting, and crazy and yet ridiculously fun. We stopped by to see my grandmother, dad, my step-mom, my aunt and her boyfriend, and a close family friend after dinner. That was fun too. Then I came home and monitored a move release that was supposed to go out. Nothing crept up but I felt like I should stay up late in case the phone rang. Then 2am came. And I went to bed.

But also the weekend found us clearing out thousands and thousands of jewel cases that enclose the thousands and thousands of CDs I have in my collection. That wasn't very fun. Tedious to say the least. 12 bags of jewel cases now line my street waiting for the garbage man to take them. I'm glad that's done with--sort of. We still have a LOT of work to do.

But back to doing. Done, do, due even. I need to stretch out. And get into something crazy and obscenely different. I guess I'm just in one of those moods--staying home all day and inside on a beautiful day will do that to an individual I suppose. But I do feel better. I want to push myself to crazy limits so that I'm ready for the next chapter in my life that's just around the corner. I want to see how far I can go again, because I've let myself just totally fall apart in the personal category for far too long. It's time to be at 110%. I don't mind if it comes bundled with sleeplessness or anxiety even. I want to be shuddering from lack of true activity. Motionlessly I want to screech out that I've only got fucking 24 hours in a day and that the days and nights and days and nights have to lengthen damn it. I'm sick of my body being sore and old and broken looking. This should be the next dawn of the next era of the next thingamabob!

Or maybe it's all because I'm listening to the new ambient/drone album by Everlovely Lightningheart. And it's exactly the album I wanted to write and record. Only it was done by someone else's hands and hearts and brains. But it's 110% of what I want.

As far as work is concerned that area of my life is going well. Which I'm very grateful for. While I enjoy working hard, I like when it has its rewards and no I'm not talking about monetary. I'm talking about when you do something and feel good about what you're working on. It has its moments of quagmire-dom but for the most part it's delicious and special and what I like to do. So hell yes, and fuck yeah and stuffs.

Now that my stomach is in fifth gear again I think I shall have some dinner and wreck it all to hell and back again. One week from today I need to report back success or failure! Or the hell with me my friends, the hell with me.

Also, this post makes no sense just like the last one didn't either. Stupid stream of conscious nonsense and lack of good editorializing...