I dub thee dumb

thankfully someone takes the time to write guidelines for the news

money quote regarding reading obituaries:

"NO DISRESPECT TO THE DEPARTED IS INTENDED; RATHER, EDITING OBITS FREES UP MORE TIME FOR NEWS & EDITORIALS. ALSO IT'S AN "EQUALIZER": A RICH PERSON WITH A PAID OBITUARY WITH EXHAUSTIVE DETAIL GETS NO BETTER TREATMENT THAN SOMEONE OF LESSER MEANS.

IF UNSURE ABOUT PRONUNCIATIONS, SAY THE NAME AS BEST YOU CAN --LISTENERS FORGIVE A BUTCHERED PRONUNCIATION IF IT'S DONE WITH A QUESTIONING INFLECTION, FOLLOWED BY A SPELLING.

TRY HARD NOT TO LAUGH AT "FUNNY" NAMES. SURE, YOU'RE HUMAN (AND SOME LISTENERS WOULD WANT TO SNICKER TOO) BUT IT'S RATHER DISRESPECTFUL."