Near Beer, DDS

As I sit here chugging Near Beer (dude it so needs to come in 40oz sizes or even cooler the much hallowed 64oz size!) I reflect on the day...around 2pm or so I had to leave work so I could go and sit in a dentist's chair (not really his chair because those correspondence classes are just so damn hard, and I wound up giving my 4 cents a day to some kid in Somalia who never writes--DAMN YOU SALLY STRUTHERS!) and have my mouth assailed...as it turns out the chipped tooth was actually a filling this same dentist put in earlier (say, six-eight months ago maybe? regardless his fixing of the tooth came free of charge) that apparantly fractured (I'm too metal for my teeth) and got all chipped up...also I needed to get a cleaning so they took care of that, not to mention some new x-rays and doesn't it bother you when they arm you with Padded Armor +2--yes stolen straight from Baldur's Gate--before they take said x-rays of your mouth while hiding behind you in some room where they flick the switch to zap you with devil rays (and not the ones in Tamba Bay mind you!)...well it freaks me out...so did his discovery of a cavity (I love it when they say "slight decay", how can decay be slight, is that like frame 235,890 from one of those sped-up videos of dead animals they show you in science class and movies directed by Oliver Stone when he's been on the mushrooms a bit more than usual) which he also took care of...so as if the stupid tooth drilling with its mighty nasty smells of burnt tooth isn't bad enough, he slips as he's poking me in the mouth and slices up the inside top portion of my mouth causing it to hemmorage and my imagination run wild as I'm just two handcuffs and a firmer grip away from being held down against my will...so that sucked...so did the piece of my tooth that later flew up and somehow managed to skip it's damn way into my EYE!...OUCH!...no novacaine on the old pupil, thank you very much...so yeah, that was annoying (though I really like my dentist, he's a cool dude) but I attribute it to the fact that it was his 33rd birthday...maybe he was celebrating early or something...anyways, having your teeth cleaned sucks...I admit I'm horrible at the whole flossing thing and each time I promise to be better and then I get lazy and it sucks because my gums bleed like a siv (what is a "siv" because I know I'm spelling this wrong) whenever I do...so boo! that blew ass...but what was worse, was the onset (and subsequent successful blocking of, mind you) a full-on mini-panic attack...I focused on one thing in the room and told myself to shut up and move on and not allow myself to be a wussie and that it was all in my head and other conversations you have with yourself that you usually don't share except in some rambling, shambling, off-hand clear-the-throat way on, say, your blog for instance

so yeah.

that sucked.

a lot. actually a whole boatload of fuck toys covered in slime suck. pancakes of doom (my latest phrase for whatever reason, maybe because pancakes can be stacked really really high) level of suckitude.

but I got through it. and that's the most important thing. I didn't tell my wife when she got home because:

a.) she had a bad day at work
2.) her blurred vision in her right eye is getting worse as is her sinus infection and she has a doctor's appt. tomorrow morning which has me nervous (see above paragraph for my own sick dumb dementia of worry), concerned, fretting, yet knowing somewhere deep down inside me that she's gonna be ok. just like I was, post-ER trip.
iii.) I'm convinced these attacks are all a figment of my imagination.

yes I said these attacks in the plural form. because, while quite rare, it's happened other times but has been very minor and is usually, and oddly, when I'm in bed (which for whatever reason I'm avoiding at this current juncture)...so hopefully I'll get a good call of good news and I'll clap my hands together, smile, and think to myself how damn lucky I am every moment of my day...

while our dumb bonus checks at work that we were supposed to get fell back to our next paycheck (damn it!) I did get an annual raise, which is pretty good...I think I'll be checking out some drum percussion stuff (I have a three-sided rack with only two things attached to it, and my drum heads are at least 6 or 7 years old, plus I have a spare cymbal collecting dust on the floor since I have nothing to mount it with)...there's TONS of stuff I'd just love to own but I'm not going to let myself go crazy, heck I'll probably only spend like $50, which to me, is still a lot of money...in addition to the raise, I got my very LAST bill for my car...wow, has it been 5 years already? that's crazy...I remember buying that car...that was one of the most exhiliarating feelings in the world (to no surprise of my own, my wife had the same feeling a year later when she bought herself a car too)...I had my buddy from college drop me off in the middle of nowhere at this car dealership with a bookbag of CDs (I believe the much loved Vision of Disorder was in there as well as my own band Fistagon's CD!), some identification paper stuff, and most importantly my check book...dropping $2 grand down--believe you me, if I could have put nothing down I would have, after all that was my freakin' student loan in action! I was able to drive off in just the car that I had done all the research on...no my friend didn't wait around till it was all taken care of...he protested thinking it was unwise but I think deep down I would have thought it would jinx me into not buying it that day or something...but the cool thing now that it's all paid off is that $270 bucks that each month went into one of the worst investments a person can make--by the time I had driven it off the lot, I'm sure it was worth only 3/4 of what I paid for it, blue book--can now go towards savings and our inevitable quest to have the Shawn name live on in the form of human spawn...as much as I ballyhooe and protest (ye, protest too much!) the whole having-kids-thing and being-old thing, damn if it's not really freakin' exciting...I've been thinking about names lately and all that jazz...hell we looked at a freakin' crib this past weekend that's been the home to three or four of my cousins...it's going to be hard work, be stressful, but that topic is guaranteed to get my insides all gooey--and that's not the Near Beer talking!

time for bed.